I get asked pretty frequently how I am “always” as positive as I am. Usually I tell them that I am just happy that I woke up that morning. This is a great way to put an end to that question, and is, for the most part, the truth. One thing that I have learned from being this sick for the last five years is that I shouldn’t take anything for granted. I really do mean anything. Right now, for example, I am lamenting every can of Diet A&W Root Beer that I didn’t savor to the last drop. Currently, I get to drink water with some of my medicines, but otherwise I only get to drink through the tube in my nose. I will say that it does make my ventriloquism act much easier, if not a little obvious.
To tell the truth of things, I am not always that positive. It’s a matter of me constantly reminding myself how quickly things can turn sideways. Ironically, I type those words as my dad and I watch the Daytona 500, and yet another big wreck occurs, but I digress. As I was saying, some days are much easier than the rest. It has been about three years since I have had a day without some form of pain or discomfort, and I don’t care who you are, Dhali Llama or not, it wears on you. Today is one of those days that I am having to fight back against the negativity.
A day like today is where I find myself to be lucky to have the family, friends, fans, and any supporter in general. The simple “get well” message, or funny post do so much to improve my outlook on the day. As much as words can tear down, they are even stronger at building up. So while I may wake up, and occasionally go to sleep, throwing myself a pity party, and feeling bad about myself, you guys are honestly what raise me back up. I appreciate that none of you allow me to wallow in self-pity, By posting your own funny stories, sending me jokes, and messages telling me to suck it up, you guys keep me on top. If I hate anything more than my own self-pity, it’s others showing me false pity, feeling sorry for me, because they feel obligated to do so. While it is nice to have people acknowledge that I am ill, and that I may not be 100%, I can’t stand when they make that an excuse for me. I can’t do everything that I used to do easily, but the last thing I want, is people to constantly remind me of it. I know, and when I can’t do something, or when it is much harder, I am okay with admitting that, but I am much happier keeping that frustration behind closed doors. I hope you guys are liking the blog posts, I am going to try to make these much more frequent, as it gives me something to do! And please, let me give you reasons I can’t do something, but don’t let me make excuses!